These moments of breakthrough and breaking down
Breaking up and beating around
I pollute myself in this blackened water
Stale my green eyes to the darkest grey
And convince myself I prefer it that way
Well defined and alive through this poison
In this venom I saw the horizon
The things on which I thought I could place blame
Your face. Your name. This chase. This game.
And although we’ve talked it through
Kicked ourselves, ribs black and blue
It is this infernal, incessant burning in my skin
The doorway to the torment smiling within
Beneath these layers of charm lies delusion
An infested, infuriating cloak of confusion
Self serving and selflessly loving
I continue the struggling
Each hopeful thought I cling to with pride
Turns itself rancid once I chain it inside.